Me too!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
