two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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