A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
