I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
