Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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