so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
