She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I pour the whiskey from now on
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize