Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
