Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
