That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
