I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
