I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
