Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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