So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
