they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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