but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Randomize
