We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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