We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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