i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
