don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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