This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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