Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
