haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
