JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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