i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I need to align my fucking chakras
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
