I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
