shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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