What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
