I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
