the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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