I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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