Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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