remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
