I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
