I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
