You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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