ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We are all done wearing pants today
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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