If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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