And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
