He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
3pm strippers are depressing
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
