I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
