Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize