She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
