A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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