my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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