He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
