Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
