as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
that is very illegal...i love you.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
