no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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