Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize