so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
