Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize