took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Sext me about skeletons
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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