I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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