dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize