She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Sext me about skeletons
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
