Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
