Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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