I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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