Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
this hospital has no fireball
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
