He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
