Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
